Saving Divorced Socks

My dryer’s hobby is hoarding, hiding, and divorcing socks. (He likely hustles clients for a textile-marriage counselor — or is perhaps an instrument of the devil.)

Of course, there’s another possibility: I’m a sloppy housekeeper: On ‘laundry ‘days’ (hah — as though I have the discipline to demarcate a wash day, rather than noticing the overflowing hamper and sighing), I throw the clothes and what all, haphazardly into the machine without the proper ‘sorting’ a better person would manage. Then I dump it in the devil’s dryer.

And the socks are ravaged, stolen, and sent to hell for my sins.

Until recently, after the lone socks suffered a purgatory in my drawer, I’d stuff them into bags and banish them to the basement to await their trip to Boston’s fiber recycle.

And then, in a rare inculcation of Heloise of ‘hints’ fame, a ‘hairband system’ apparition rose from the basement dust! I bundled my loose socks in an elastic hair band (not wanting to damage their delicate fibers!) And now, they await the following week’s bounty matches.

Reader, it works. Stayed tuned — another Heloise-worthy flash may strike at any decade.